The color yellow and the flat out unknown truth

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Am I lying to myself? Can I really think this feeling is something I never felt before for anybody? Lately, my thoughts are filled with all of these emotions and ideas where I feel like my life could be the title of the next rom-com. I often feel as if I’m Jessica Day in the mist of my awaking weird skits of love by me becoming a young adult. Is it just a fooling game where I’m actually believing cryptic horoscopes and filling my head with the craziness that fills my mind on a daily basis.. Where the guy that I like may actually like me back or that’s how I see it but really everyone is looking at me in the mirror, shaking their heads left and right telling me that this isn’t what you think it is. Why can’t I believe my peers, my so-called friends and why do they let me gamble on about my “ideas” of this boy? He is like yellow, a color that reminds me of my new college house, the kitchen where I feel unwelcome because my first home doesn’t feel like “home” but yet again he is reminding me of my childhood teddy pooh bear and even though I’m an adult, I still need it. Even when you aren’t getting your way you can still hold on to that little bear and you know no one can understand how much it means to you. He is like the color yellow. I don’t know why I like him I just don’t need to explain the tough emotional wreck he is making me because I do personally, deep down know that one day I’ll look back and this and maybe think that was my first “real” crushing crush.

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